Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
