I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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