I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
