IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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