Midget sex pt 2 tonight
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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