You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
