so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I am available for nakedness
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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