i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
