I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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