you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
