Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
