dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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