You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
