bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
