Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
