So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
