what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
