My room smells like vodka and shame
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
too bad you live with your parents still
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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