What did we do last night that was yellow?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize