Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
