Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
