Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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