I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize