I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
