Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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