Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
