I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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