I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he thought i was a dude.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
