ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
