How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
