Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
