we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
