: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize