I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
