It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
