Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
