I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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