quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
