you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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