saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
