yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
