she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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