Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
