I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
