how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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