I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
