its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
this will be a night to untag.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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