the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
