I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
