why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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