my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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