so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
