You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
