Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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