Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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