Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
