I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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