Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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