I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
